Harrow merrows. today is the last tuesday. i woke up at 6.30, late to school, reached at 8 after stoning at boon lay, jurong east and bukit batok mrt stations respectively. actually not really stoned, i didn't not think and stared into space, i was comtemplative this morning. i was thinking, like, i just sat there and watched office people, MI students and who's it walk, rush, run by me, i was like this spectator who's got nothing to do but to watch them as they walked on, not noticing they've been watched by a girl on the platform. 

Labels: School. :)

the last monday in hillgrove.

Labels: School. :)

Oh, and it's sunday going on monday again ):. so depressing. 5 days left of school man. so. sad. but i'd prefer schooless days because i'll self study at home. 

Labels: Churching :0, Songcraze

tonight i'm falling and i can't get up

i need your loving hands to come and pick me up

and every night i miss you, 

i can just look up, and know that the stars are 

holding you, holding you, 

tonight.

-tonight by fm static. 

Labels: Studyinghard

How does it feel to fly, high up in the sky, with no worries, so carefree, living from day-to-day, live today, die tomorrow attitude. to enjoy swooping down from great hights, and to glide gracefully from one building to another. 

Everyone wears a mask, or several masks, even, on a daily basis. different masks for different occasion, even i do that too. a happy mask for outings, a glum one for school, an angry one at home, and confident one for when meeting new friends. it's a thing that people do, normally out of pure habit, sometimes to escape reality, and other times, still, to hide their real faces- and flaws. when- or if- you ever uncover the mask of a friend, remember that everyone is raw and vulnerable underneath these ever-changing masks, and if a friend ever, ever show you their real side, pray do not show no mercy and run away. 

Labels: A Story.

In that place between wakefulness and dreams, I found myself in the room. There were no distinguishing features except for the one wall covered with small index card files. They were like the ones in libraries that list titles by author or subject in alphabetical order. But these files, which stretched from floor to ceiling and seemingly endless in either direction, had very different headings. As I drew near the wall of files, the first to catch my attention was one that read 'Girls I have liked'. I opened it and began flipping through the cards. I quickly shut it, shocked to realize that I recognized the names written on each one. And then without being told, I knew exactly where I was.

This lifeless room with its small files was a crude catalog system for my life. Here were written the actions of my every moment, big and small, in a detail my memory couldn't match. A sense of wonder and curiosity, coupled with horror, stirred within me as I began randomly opening files and exploring their content. Some brought joy and sweet memories; others a sense of shame and regret so intense that I would look over my shoulder to see if anyone was watching.

A file named 'Friends' was next to one marked 'Friends I have betrayed.' The titles ranged from the mundane to the outright weird 'Books I Have Read,' 'Lies I Have Told,' 'Comfort I have Given', 'Jokes I Have Laughed at .' Some were almost hilarious in their exactness: 'Things I've yelled at my brothers.' Others I couldn't laugh at: 'Things I Have Done in My Anger', 'Things I Have Muttered Under My Breath at My Parents'. I never ceased to be surprised by the contents.
 
Often there were many more cards than I expected. Sometimes fewer than I hoped. I was overwhelmed by the sheer volume of the life I had lived. Could it be possible that I had the time in my years to fill each of these thousands or even millions of cards? But each card confirmed this truth. Each was written in my own handwriting. Each signed with my signature.
 
When I pulled out the file marked 'TV Shows I have watched', I realized the files grew to contain their contents. The cards were packed tightly, and yet after two or three yards, I hadn't found the end of the file. I shut it, shamed, not so much by the quality of shows but more by the vast time I knew that file represented.
 
When I came to a file marked 'Lustful Thoughts,' I felt a chill run through my body. I pulled the file out only an inch, not willing to test its size and drew out a card. I shuddered at its detailed content.

I felt sick to think that such a moment had been recorded. An almost animal rage broke on me. One thought dominated my mind: No one must ever see these cards! No one must ever see this room! I have to destroy them!' In insane frenzy I yanked the file out. Its size didn't matter now. I had to empty it and burn the cards. But as I took it at one end and began pounding it on the floor, I could not dislodge a single card. I became desperate and pulled out a card, only to find it as strong as steel when I tried to tear it.
 
Defeated and utterly helpless, I returned the file to its slot. Leaning my forehead against the wall, I let out a long, self-pitying sigh.
 
And then I saw it.. The title bore 'People I Have Shared the Gospel With.' The handle was brighter than those around it,seemed newer, almost unused. I pulled on its handle and a small box not more than three inches long fell into my hands. I could count the cards it contained on one hand.
 
And then the tears came. I began to weep. Sobs so deep that they hurt. They started in my stomach and shook through me. I fell on my knees and cried. I cried out of shame, from the overwhelming shame of it all. The rows of file shelves swirled in my tear-filled eyes. No one must ever, ever know of this room. I must lock it up and hide the key. But then as I pushed away the tears, I saw Him.

Labels: A Story.

My friend said to me this: Sometimes a little madness helps keep us sane- ironic but true.blood donation, take a look at the bag of blood! haha. doesn't hurt much, really. it's all phychological.

Labels: Churching :0, PICTUREZ., Songcraze, Weh random :D

Hello world. to all the people who missed Amplify in the city: man, did you missed soooo much or what. it was damn fun, p&w and all. and the volunteer team was soooooooooo high! all shouting like crazy. like we are. crowd was fantastic, and everyone was enjoying themselves! woohoo. after it ended at around eleven, me and the boon layieans trained back, and then went for supper (: so shiok. though i was falling asleep in the carrot cake. almost. haha. then i reached home at one, without any house keys ): stood outside for ten seconds, then crashed at the sofa outside. thank goodness my sis was on the way home too, and she has keys, so half slept outside for ten mintues then dilly dally, here there where, and slept at close to two. ballll. woke up at twelve plus. with right eye swollen ); man. so ugly. but the swell is going down, little by little, like yesterday. 

Labels: Amp ^-^, Happypost

take a breath, make it deep, and jump out into the unknown. a big leap is necessary, two small leaps just won't do. fears and worries only holds you back, be free from them and you'll go far.

Hohoho.

Labels: Amp ^-^, School. :)

Star-dee man.

Labels: Weh random :D

Hello anyone!
i'm hooked (again) onto Facebook. heh. dai. but no worries, i wont go around throwing sheeps, poking or super-poking anyone (:

bye :D, i love cupcakes.

Labels: Happypost, Hookies.