HELLO ANYONE!

I'm leaving blogger.com

moving to greener pastures (hopefully)

BAI!

Time check:one ten.
i've got school tomorrow, but i've ALSO got plenty of math to complete. never seems to end, these assignments. friday is Final exams already, so soon. fri, sat, mon, and we're done. holidays for seven weeks. might look for a day job (current job being sort of night.) and earn some extra income.. at the same time, being busy will get my mind off things.
so steve, dont worry so, im not going mad as pie, my head is just stuck in the past, and im having a hard time yanking my head out. i will, in due time.
had a fun chat with Quan.

Quan said (00:12):
LOL a+bj remind me of anal + blowjob
Eliz you anal bitch.(★). said (00:13):
OH MY GAWD YOUR SO FUCKING DIRTY

welcome to the world of complex numbers in rectangular form.

and i know. i meant to type YOU'RE.
in the mean time.

When you browse thru other people's life and see the problems they have, compare it to your own, and realize one of two things: your troubles are so minute compared to theirs, or their troubles are so minute compared to yours.

sometimes when you pop back into my life, my mind start ticking, non-stop.

when you hear a song you feel you relate to, but the song is not about how you're feeling.

time is flying, flying like doves. gotta go!
my leg's still swollen. :|
my throat's still gross. :|

random shot taken after Up. check out my awkward hand! and my new bangs too.

Labels: Emorant =\, MSNing ^-^, Ngeeann ah., sick :|

Repeatedly, i tell myself not to wake up and hope you'll be there.
somedays, my thoughts just wander right next to you.

Nothing much to update. watched ponyo, excellent movie. gg t watch Ice age 3. Final examinations are starting in a few weeks' time, and i've been slacking behind =\
missing school and all. have been sleeping late everyday, waking up at 3pm or later. trying to break the habit, to no avail.

sissy's starting work!!!!!!!
excited for her. but her work-place like fucking far la. she must travel for an hour plus.
one thing good's that she'll be having music with her. so time will pass wee bit faster.

went to jovin's house just now, havent been there since i was a KID. i think i can count one two fingers the number of times i've been there.

worked on Mon and Tues. watched Up in 3D on Monday then went to work. not much of a diff, i actually prefer the normal version to the 3D version. my leg's swell is not going away, got bitten by mozzies and the swelled like a balloon. applied aloe vera to it, slowly it's going away.

Need money! ): work's money is not enough. thinking of getting one more job. i've already spent my salary before i even got the cheque. =\

Money's sch trouble.must spend less.

Gah. math.bye. safe.

Labels: Rant., Songcraze, Work :0

Happy 44th, Singapore.



watched the NDP on telly for about 15 minutes, caught electrico was sooooo excited. desmond's so cute laaaaa.

today i showered for Loeiloei, clipped Porkchop and Ahpui's nails, cutted Ahpui's hair and this post is redundant.


Running away, you cant pretend.

Labels: Songcraze, Weh random :D

:\


recently many thing happened, many sad things happened.
a one minutes phone can kill your whole week. i really did not mean for so many bad things to happen. a silly mistake that escalated, causing many tears for many a nights. heart broken over and over again, watching my mom bond with Jere, seeing her back against me, waiting for her to speak to me again, feeling her anger towards me, i do not feel good. instead of looking at mom now, i just avoid her whenever she's around. when she even talk to me, she's telling me to do chores, to kio Loeiloei's shit, to clear the rubbish. i feel sad, i feel angry, im not suppose to be angry, im just ranting.
i said something really stupid this evening. if i could replay the evening, i'd not have spoken, and let her lash angry words over me for as long as she like. i should not have spoken.
some nights, i lie in bed, and ask God what did i do to cause my family so much pain. He havent answer me yet.

" you were my last hope. you just made me lost it"
these words, amongst many others, broke me into tiny pieces. i try to amend, i tried, but when im reaching you, but i start to back away, afraid and just cowardly, aint i?
tears dont help, neither does thinking of the same scene over and over again. i try not to do either, but trying.. just trying. i miss the little things she do for me, things i overlook in the past, now standing out like a neon sign in my face. reaching the front gate everyday, sometimes just standing there, with the keys in my hands. i was never good with words verbally, and im too proud to apologise. i put myself in her shoes, i'd have done the same.
i rather she scold me, beat me, than to cold me out. i just.... dont know what to do. disappointing my family is something i dont do often. which is why it's affecting me badly. everyday, i await for a new scolding from someone, waiting for it to come, but only to face silence.
cry every night, every single night. hoping for things to turn over again.

I'm sorry.

Labels: Raw.

I've got a story to share. got it from an email from a friend (:
thought i should share it. kind of dont like forwarding emails much.

The man slowly looked up. This was a woman clearly accustomed to the finer things of life. Her coat was brand new. She looked like she had never missed a meal in her life. His first thought was that she wanted to make fun of him, like so many others had done before.

"Leave me alone," he growled.

To his amazement, the woman continued standing there. She was smiling, her even white teeth displayed in two dazzling rows.

"Are you hungry?" she asked.

"No," he answered sarcastically. "I've just finished dining with the president.. Now go away."

The woman's smile became even broader.

Suddenly the man felt a gentle hand under his arm.

"What are you doing, lady?" the man asked angrily. "I said to leave me alone."

Just then a policeman came up.

"Is there any problem, ma'am?" he asked.

"No problem here, officer," the woman answered. "I'm just trying to get this man to his feet. Will you help me?"

The officer scratched his head. "That's old Jack. He's been a fixture around here for a couple of years. What do you want with him?"

"See that cafeteria over there?" she asked. "I'm going to get him something to eat and get him out of the cold for a while."

"Are you crazy, lady?" old Jack resisted. "I don't want to go in there!" Then he felt strong hands grab his other arm and lift him up.

"Let me go, officer. I didn't do anything.."

"This is a good deal for you, Jack," the officer answered. "Don't blow it."

Finally, and with some difficulty, the woman and the police officer got old Jack into the cafeteria and sat him at a table in a remote corner. It was the middle of the morning, so most of the breakfast crowd had already left and the lunch crowd had yet arrived.

The manager strode across the cafeteria and stood by the table.

"What's going on here, officer?" he asked."What is all this, is this man in trouble?"

"This lady brought this man in here to be fed," the policeman answered.

"Not in here!" the manager replied angrily. "Having a person like that here is bad for business."

Old Jack smiled a toothless grin. "See, lady. I told you so. Now if you'll let me go. I didn't want to come here in the first place."

The woman turned to the cafeteria manager and smiled.

"Sir, are you familiar with Eddy and Associates, the banking firm down the street?"

"Of course I am," the manager answered impatiently. "They hold their weekly meetings in one of my banquet rooms."

"And do you make a good amount of money providing food at these weekly meetings?"

"What business is that of yours?"

"I, sir, am Penelope Eddy, president and CEO of the company."

"Oh..."

The woman smiled again.. "I thought that might make a difference."

She glanced at the cop who was busy stifling a laugh. "Would you like to join us in a cup of coffee and a meal, officer?"

"No thanks, ma'am," the officer replied. "I'm on duty.."

"Then, perhaps, a cup of coffee to go?"

"Yes, ma'am. That would be very nice."

The cafeteria manager turned on his heel.

"I'll get your coffee for you right away, officer."

The officer watched him walk away.
"You certainly put him in his place," he said.

"That was not my intention. Believe it or not, I have a reason for all this."

She sat down at the table across amazed old Jack. She stared at him intently.

"Jack, do you remember me?"

Old Jack searched her face with his old, rheumy eyes. "I think so- I mean, you do look so familiar."

"I'm a little older perhaps," she said. "Maybe I've even filled out more than in my younger days when you worked here, and I came through that very door, cold and hungry."

"Ma'am?" the officer said questioningly. He couldn't believe that such a magnificent looking woman could ever have been hungry.

"I was just out of college," the woman began. "I had come to the city looking for a job, but I couldn't find anything. Finally I was down to my last few cents and had been kicked out of my apartment. I walked the streets for days. It was February and I was cold and nearly starving. I saw this place and walked in, hoping that I could get something to eat."

Jack's face lit up with a smile. "Now I remember," he said.. "I was behind the serving counter. You came up and asked me if you could work for something to eat. I said that it was against company policy."

"I know," the woman continued. "Then you made me the biggest roast beef sandwich that I had ever seen, gave me a cup of coffee, and told me to go over to this very corner table and enjoy it. I was afraid that you would get into trouble. Then, when I looked over and saw you putting money out of your own pockets into the cash register, I knew then, that everything would be all right."

"So you started your own business?" Old Jack said.

"I got a job that very afternoon. I worked my way up. Eventually I started my own business that, with the help of God, prospered..."

She opened her purse and pulled out a business card. "When you are finished here, I want you to pay a visit to a Mr. Lyons. He's the personnel director of my company. I'll go talk to him now and I'm certain he'll find something for you to do around the office."

She smiled. "I think he might even find the funds to give you a little advance so that you can buy some clothes and get a place to live until you get on your feet. If you ever need anything, my door is always open to you."

There were tears in the old man's eyes. "How can I ever thank you?" he asked.

"Don't thank me," the woman answered. "To God goes the glory. He led me to you."

Outside the cafeteria, the officer and the woman paused at the entrance before going their separate ways.

"Thank you for all your help, officer," she said.

"On the contrary, Ms. Eddy," he answered. Thank you. I saw a miracle today, something that I will never forget. And...And thank you for the coffee."

When God leads you to the edge of the cliff, trust Him fully and let go.
Only one of two things will happen, either He'll catch you when you fall, or He'll teach you how to fly.

God is so big He can cover the whole world with his Love, and yet so small He can curl up inside your heart.

God closes doors no man can open & God opens doors no man can close.

Long email. but a nice story.

*****

Went to IMM for lunch-dinner with Steve. was craving for pastamania while working the previous night, and zhixian told me that there is a new outlet at IMM, closest to my house, so i decided to go there. to find that there is no pastamania!!! sad or what. was just mad craving for Chicken cheese salsicca. but ): sad.
so we settled for Cafe cartel. food was alright, serving was huge. only finished half-ish. still got a craving for pastamania. ):.
irritating. anyway.
i really like Singapore's 2009 theme song! go search on imeem.com: what do you see.

and! i just did my nailz. blue and needed t do something to cheer meself up. so im orange!

dont dare to take a close up pict cuz it looks kind of off now. must see tmr. it'll look better.

i also chopped off half my bangs!

was with aly few nights back.. watched UP at JP. good show. catch it! i'm gonna watch it again with steve.

kay. gotta go. math!

Control.

Labels: A Story., Fooding, Out., PICTUREZ., Songcraze, Studyinghard, Work :0

Ut amem et foveam

Bad day, just bad. gotta wake up.

When you realize you just hurt the one you'd never in your wildest dreams thought to hurt, a ball of fire just whirls through your body and burn you, slowly but surely. you want to defend yourself; no, you did not mean to hurt, never in a thousand years, you want to explain, but somehow the words seemed choked in a place where the rest of the crushed papers were. when you had the chance to explain, you didnt, and when the chance was lost and you were left along without a second glance, that's when the regret sits in.

but think twice: were there anything to explain about? you know how the one feels. you know where the one came from.

Still feeling like fuck. two tests tomorrow: EEPS, ENGMEC. congrats, Eliz. you can bang the wall now. what happened to studying, Eliz? what happened when you've lost your last hope?

Labels: Emorant =\

When to move on, when to give up?

when words collide and scenes rush, regrets overflow and i start to think: what would have been, what could have been, what should have been. you, you, you, me. what did you say?

what did it all meant.

weird mood. tsk.