Love the new blogsong.

totally /wrist and fun.

im in the weird mood today. feeling sad when i should be happy, feeling just weird.

webcam session with Yuanxing and Kirk.. we the bored.

Kirk with polo, yx with grape, eliz with a smile.

*****

Church tomorrow morning, gonna make it a practice all over again. missing father mike so much. hope he'll visit us somehow, once again. ):.

.

Had quite a bad morning, was quite sick until the point when i dont really wanna go to school. but i went. for EEPS. lecturer (sir!) said lesson's pretty important, you skip you liao. so i went despite the whinny eliz whining up a storm in my head. 

so it was a good idea, until 3 pm. bacause 14 students from PB22 went to Beauty world to eat together. like. class outing. cuz it was a far walk. yes, we walked. working up an appetite huh. so.. food was great, company was awesome, bonding was the best. was so cheerful after that two hours long break. 

then come EEPS. i didnt understand a thing. i couldnt decipher the diagrams. and almost everyone else were following along fine. felt like fuck lor. just stood around and peep here and there. wires wires wires. and then nas reminded me the autocad guy's friend dropped out of poly due to EEPS. quite scared ah. 

after school, cabbed home with jon. then they dont accept nets. JIAOWEI. so annoyed. so now i owe jon money. Walau. 

I dunno why am i writing so much. im going nuts soon. my mom's asking me not to work for another 2 weeks.. cuz of my persistent cough and crazy timetable. ):. i think my immune system shutting down or something.

money eh. money or rest. money or rest. so fucked up. 

stress ah. 

Have been discussing life/death with my kakis.. What do you wanna be in future? how old do you wanna be when you die? 

And i keep thinking.. thinking about life/death a lot recently. past few days lah. 

Really demoralized after EEPS. Nas called me, then gave a wee bit boost to my spirits. thn steven called me. said my cough's really fucked up ah, take care of yourself ley. talk about work, army, navy, work, school (scratched the surface), meeting up, unsuccessful meetups. 

=\

Dont know what to say. 

Going to start school in.... days. no more three months to go. no more slackey days at home. no more. 

Oh my fuck. so emo. slit wrist and die, kay? 

♥Jonathan rhys meyers.

Still reading Order, (cues Isaac's annoying 'Again?! Aiyo.) getting annoyed with the books too, already. doesnt seem to end. 

but then again right. idk what to occupy my time with once i'm done with all seven books. im thinking of series of unfortunate events :B must ask Steven. 

Hmmmmm.

work today (yesterday?), Andrew dropped by to chitchat with Alfred, then left 1/2 an hour later. after work, went to take bus home with zhi xian. both of us were so exhausted. i didnt even retort when he teased me. heh. then on the bus. i changed sits three times ._. him lor. so mafan. then i showed him my wrist, and performed 'magic'. 

Heh. obviously, zx being zx, act one unimpressed. bleh.

bloody tired leh. dont know why im not sleeping also. need to buy contact lenses tomorrow. order phone. pay school fees. do online registration. prepare soup. 

._.

cliché? yes. so much to do, so little time. 

Bye. 

Woke up very late today. 4pm, with a feeling of dread. thought that i had missed the enrolment date and scrambled up in bed. havent went thru it since i got in from the mailbox.

denial, denial, denial. bottle pop.

:| drowning in music. hahah. was reading with the ear-piece plugged on, when my momma asked me to makan dinner. i bloody jumped lor. HAHAHA.

it will get easier, innit. was telling ZX and KJ that i'm fcking relieved, but seems like. anything can trigger nothing and everything. 

Eliz needs to get away.. go away somewhere, anywhere. hopefully it comes with a new haircut and a mobile phone, preferably Samsung F480 or SE Xperia, or C905, or C902. or W890i.

actually a new phone and haircut will do just fine (;

ipod, i'll get you soon. 

yes, this post is edited.

Haru haru. day by day. big bang.

despite not understanding the song/ meaning, i like this song (:

Yeah. work today, quite fun cuz KJ and ZX was thr. crazy chaps, crazy jokes and all. racist, the whole lot! hahhaa. closing took damn long, cuz we wa waited for weihao to come, so tt stage, spotlight and all can go into his van. wow. reached home at eleven lor. headache ah. thank goodness andrew drove me home. 

HMMM. made impromptu curry this afternoon, and to cut long story short, i injured my finger. many many blood. end of story. 

Got my enrolment package today, saw the fees. quite. shocked. and. i dont know if i can do this. lowest point of my life now. idk what to do.

Really missed church.

nowhere to be found.

Just finished watching august rush- for the second time. gonna watch something else soon.. but im pretty tired. glad that i'm not working today... later on. i've been using my mom's phone recently, for the past two days in fact. motorazr v9. mahogany. the color. is the cool.

im wondering if i should get one of my own. it's damn unfair for my mom, if im using her cool mobile. Yeah. gimme some idea, people. yes, i'd love to own another slim flip phone, after aeons of the slide w910i phone. i love slamming my phones. yo. 

Sunday was fine, Eliz had a lovely sleep. so lovely that she overslept, and woke up at twelve thirty in the noon, instead of 8 in the morning. yes, she also woke up at eleven because there was a malay wedding going on a stone's throw away, and the emcees and singers were warming up. eliz's mother was going on about the beautiful decorations... and pretty chairs. eliz is not amazed, because she saw how they stayed up all night long to get it done so prettily! three cheers for their energies. yes, on to the next topic. awaking at eleven, eliz saw that the silly red shit-ass mobile of hers was not charging. so she went to find another charger. and tried to charge the red W910i. to no avail. apparently, the phone was having her PMS, and decided to breakdown completely. no amount of curses, throws or frustration thrown against the red-ass mobile worked. so she had to borrow her mother's cool motorola flip phone. oh man. eliz want that phone too, she thinks. eliz misses church and all her churchmates a lot, but by not attending church, words means peanuts. her friend, lincoln, told her that God wants her back, but she's not very sure herself. she's just so.. off the path. heading into the forest. she doesn't know, either. so anyway, she went to work. she took bus 185, a bus she'd have to take on a daily basis in future. her eyes almost popped when she saw the fare. she like the long bus ride, btw. hate the long wait for the bus though. esp. in the persistent ziggy zaggy heat waves. she had a long think about everything and anything, letting thoughts past thru', letting imagination run wild. she was, at one point, imagining herself doing homework on the bus. now, how silly is that? recently, eliz has been writing a lot, be it typing on the key board, or writing on those unfinished foolscape. why, yesterday itself, she wrote three full pages, history's structured essay styled, worth of thoughts. at the end of it, her hands were trembling. so she arrived at Clementi a few minutes' late, to see Jon waiting at the bus stop. so they went off, to work. eliz was quite pissed today, because she had to work right smack outside the new mall at Clementi. but she got over it, and she's no longer pissed. she realized that the people are quite nice too, they brought chairs ov for them to sit. they also like her, they told her themselves. the new mall was.. cram. and haha, a sudden thought just passed thru' her mind. she suddenly remembered walking into Singtel, and all conversations stopping as they turned to stare at her and Jon. yeh. back to the point- what was it anyway? yeah. so eliz worked for X hours today, and didn't consume solid food for X hours. eliz is quite sure noone's reading at this point. she only ate a big fat sinful mcSpicy when she got home, which is so belardy sinful, she's so annoyed with herself. eliz suddenly missed those crazy math excercises ms chong used to give out, at bulk. eliz missed 4E6, too, despite all the wacky things that occured throughout. eliz is still eating, moving on to the next sin, chocs. yay. she's gonna have triple chin. haha. eliz is trying to forget. trying to remember. trying to grasp hold of the truth. trying to understand life. trying to accept life. trying to learn, trying to forgive, trying to piece the puzzle pieces together, trying to acquire knowledge, trying to stop, trying not to cry. the thing that may seem so minute to one, may be of utmost significance to another. eliz is so tired, at the age of seventeen, so tired. hiding lies, secrets, secrets, secrets. how do you keep a secret? do you know how to hide?

so i slept on.. woke up at three, gawdz. made late lunch for dad. fried rice, the ultimate basicz, cuz idk what else to cook, and i was tooooo lazy to go and buy food for dad. 

Look at the stars, see how they shine, for you?

Poopz. today. three cats visited my corridor. one mean fat grey cat (which i wont forget for hissing at me!), one white cat with three round spots on it's body, and one smaller silverish grey cat which followed me downstairs.. then went to find someone more interesting to follow. hmmm. idk why they came by. haha. 

Since i had no work, i spent my time doing chores and stuffs. and last night, out of boredom, i cut off all my fingernails. looking horribly ugly now, but who gives a shit, noone's complaining, except me, that is. missing the professional-sounding clic-clac sound i get on the keyboard. 

if you get what i mean. haha. just bought two bags from my sissy's online shop, oh man. mixture of jubiliance and sadness. 

the giver is still a very good read. i'd love to know what happened after they managed to get to Elsewhere though. i'd also love to like live the life of those people. no colours. no happiness. no hurt. no love. no joy. no pain. no feelings. no choices. quite an idea. hmm. 

NAH.

Have been listening to many many chinese songs.. S.H.E and Jay chou. 

Going to camp out at east coast tmr. 

I hope i can manage EE. 

Yay, to being almost alone at home (: 

(uncle's sleeping in th room, hah. almost forgot until he gave a snort.)

What a long day. Went to m.sia early in the morning, went to city square, and brought a top from mango. long-sleeved, again. third one so far. idk why. when CNY's gonna be a hot and humid affair, and i'm buying tops that will kill me. but it's damn nice. so. enough about clothes.

When we returned to SG, had to accompany mom over to uncle's house for dinner, or else she'd have to go herself =/. so i went there.. and had steamboat. rawr. then we went home, then i went out again, to sheng siong (sp?) i love supermarketting. Yeh. can buy food. so i like. i'm such an auntie ):

So yeh. if you've been looking at the tagboard, you'd know too, jon won the match :D Yes ah. pretty happy. 

Ohohohohohoh.! 11:11! i wish for peace in the world. yay. bai.

Fuck you, fuck you very, very much.

:0 

Dreaming of a world where courtesy and manners are.. ways of life, and smiles are given selflessly. 

I DYED MY HAIR. IT'S BROWN, DAMNIT. i ♥ my hair.

. well. and then things changed, and everyone drifted, and all the 'best friend 4-ever', 'stay in contact', 'remember mi foreva'... ceased to exist. cliche to the max, yes, but.. those were then. 

browsing thru' old class photos, the back of photos filled with signature, what are they? nothing more that permament inks? 

this is what sad songs do to you. you become sad too. duh.

*****

Smile to the camera, smile to your bestie, smile to a random stranger.

When you get home, can you smile to your reflection?

*****

(:. Woke up at twelve, awaken by the phone's persistent ringing. Gosh. today's thursday already. hell. friday's coming. 

Jon's match's on friday. fck damn. ._.

Working on Sunday afterall. idk how to make it to mass.. working in the morning leh. 10 am.

*****

What a happy song. me love. ♥. suddenly change font. hahahaha. BAI. love the song with me.

Who'd Of Known- Lily Allen

*****

Yeah. woke up early today, 11-ish. i love my new blanket (tx mom, love ya) so snuggly that i almost didnt wake up. 

Dajie makes a mean bowl of porridge. 

And, 4 days to go. fuck. here comes Dread.

Impromtu ._. going for work alr. bai hippos.

I'm gonna be 17 soon, in a week.

Since i'm gonna be seventeen,

why the fck am i feeling so down?

*****

:| SAIKANG LA, CB. 

Clearing my mpsan of gross songs (: so that i wont be so happily embarassed when a wrong song is blasted thru the good ole speakers. (think elvis presley's can't help falling in love with you)

so i have a date with my bitches, a dinnerdate at ajisen @ Imm on the 8th. (:!

think i'll ask noel/man/cc out for a mmoviedate kind of thing too (:

and maybe on friday i'll attend amp.friday again, after my long absence of a month plus. 

just maybe.

=\?

Scratch that whine out, eliz. so annoying.

(Because forgiving is taking another step out, like going the extra mile)

I've decided: i'm gonna keep my hair long! 

if i can stand the heat, as alicia points out.

Oh hoho. working tomorrow ah.

2009! 

i just read Cleo, their smart report, this article on Living by numbers. and sooo this number can reflect my personality and the outlook for the future. so here's mine:

Pretty cool innit. 

Anyway! since it's a new year, and magazine suggest that i go on with my past year's resolution ( if you may call them that), i shall not have any new resolutions!

*****

Hmmmm. on a second thought. something new wont hurt (: 

i resolve. to. excercise more!!!!!!!!! right gym partner? *nudge alicia* (sudden reminder of my gym partner's a monkey- hahahahhaa.)

Adam Lyon and Jake Spidermonkey.

i resolve to....... visit the library more often! and walk there and back! not bus!

not sure if it'll work though. sigh.

TSK. getting nervous about my O's results. Everytime someone asks: are you nervous/ scared/ wdv? i'd say no. but now even though i still dont know the exact date of the release of results ( think releaseing a cage of wild monkeys into the city), the nervy disease is catching on. damn. 

what if my results render me with nowhere to go? will i go into a lousy school, into a lousy course i'm not even interested in? or will i retake as a private? or will my results soar sky high? TAMADE. change subject! enough of these.. negativities.

went to find my fox and nike hoodie. ): both are last pieces, so i didnt wanna take them. tried asking them to help me check other outlets, but they said in this madrush season of snatch and pay, they cant check for me. BWAH. i want a black hoodie. PRONTO. 

so, instead of buying hoodies, i brought bags!!! ^-^

One Nike bag. and one zinc bag.

and there flies the moolah. 

Gonna grab a shot of these bags now!

*****

Nike bag's got bright blue seams, damn pretty. Silver/grey exterior, blue interior.

While the Zinc bag is a simple postman bag. kind of thing. :D brown exterior, brown interior.

And i havent buy myself xin-nian top and shoes! 

Nevermind (: pay's coming!!!!!!!!

Remembering the kites i saw at westcoast, flying sky-high, soaring gracefully. despite being so high, it's not much of a big deal: afterall they are still kites. the humans handling them are still firmly on the ground. 

How nice it'll be, to be a kite soaring in the sky.